It does not do to dwell on dreams.

Sometimes I get very upset about the fact that the fantasy worlds in which I become engrossed are not real. I become slightly depressed and frustrated that there are no magic wands, TARDIS, Starfleet, vampire castles, dragons, sonic screwdrivers, lightsabers, tin dogs, iron man suits, androids, magic compasses, transforming robots, flying deloreans, bottomless purses or secret schools for mutants or wizards.
Then I think, these things all "exist" because people like me imagined them into being. I feel less alone in my longing for something extraordinary to be in my world. After all, just because it's in your head, why would that mean it isn't real? I can have whatever I want in my imagination and I can imagine whatever I want.

Normal.

So I was thinking, I LIKE to be normal.

It's a wonderful game. It's like I'm tricking all the people because I'm being all pleasant and normal, and then on the inside I'm thinking:
"Oh my god. They have NO IDEA I'm singing the Back to the Future theme in here. I wish I was watching Star Trek right now. Lol what he just said made me think if a funny quote I read on the internet. Don't smile and laugh. They'll see it and then you'll have to explain and then you lose the Normal Game. What time is it? Wow, I've been doing this for a good hour and a half and NOONE suspects a thing. I think Phineas and Ferb comes on in ten minutes. I'll have to watch it later instead. Did he just say there are cookies? Ok, play it cool. Just take one cookie first. You're an adult and you can buy cookies whenever you want them, no need to inhale them in front of these people during your Game. Do you want to lose?! Ew no, I have not seen 'The Notebook' all the way through. Just nod and make that 'OMG such a cute movie' face. Pretend she's talking about Wall-E. There we go."

The only problem is, the longer I go in the Game, the more excited I get about my success. Which is when it get dangerous and I really have to focus.

No longer the villain.

Finally.
Everyone knows what you are. It isn't just me seeing you for what you are and her claiming that only she sees "the real" you. EVERYONE KNOWS NOW.
Grandpa trusted my judgement without even discussing it with me. Others saw that my opinion wasn't just that of an overprotective sibling. I wasn't overreacting to her "saying things out of anger". She was saying what she knew was true and you smudged it enough to make her doubt it.
But people know now. Now you're just a cancer that we have to figure out how to cut away without sending her with you. My family sees yours for what it is. We don't blame you for your lot in life.
My parents were going to help you. Try to include you so she wouldn't drift farther. They begged me to be reasonable and give you another chance. My family was going to overpay you for chores to help YOU. I became the villain when I opposed. They could read my body language even when I lied saying I would try to give you another chance.
Now they know. You betrayed what little trust they had in you when the truth came out. They know now what I was trying to tell them. You poked the hive and now more than one wasp is paying attention.
You took what you had for granted. Was it because you never had it before? Because you didn't know how to appreciate her? Noone taught you, I suppose, and you had bad examples. But that doesn't matter now. We will protect her.
She's been pulled down by you and yours and you don't even defend her from them. They spread false stories about her spun from their ill conceived assumptions. They tell her she isn't welcome in their home and you stand by and allow it. Well I won't allow it. She deserves more than what you can give her. She's trying to convince herself she doesn't, but you know and I know better. The difference is you try to convince her she's right.
I'm not the villain in this petty little drama that is your life any longer. Your smoke and mirrors game isn't fooling the rest as it once did. I have my bitter little victory.
Now to suck out the poison and rid her of you. We just have to show her that she has to be the one to cut you out. She's smart enough to realize it, she just needs a little push.

Normal lunch conversation.

Me: I've been eating a lot of baked potatos recently. I like them.
Dad: Yea they're good. I've been thinking of growing potatos.
Me: Gonna plant a baked potato bush?
Dad: No, a potato tree.
Me: Well the baked ones grow on bushes.

Things I've learned

-"Classic" often means "old and you have to read it" and doesn't always mean "enjoyable"
-Always get sturdy cutlery when attempting to eat a kiwi or you will be very disappointed with the result.
-Hand sanitizer means HAND sanitizer and it will not make feet smell better.
-Put your pennies in your piggy bank.
-No matter how late you stay up, you won't learn 3 weeks of material in time for the test tomorrow.
-Starfruit is not good.
-People are surprising.
-It's nice when people tell you you're "too happy".
-Just because you can't taste the rum, doesn't mean it isn't there.

Because I'm a smartass.

Someday, probably, I'll have kids. And since I assume pregnancy won't change my usual level of smartassery, I thought of a few "answers" for when people vaguely ask what the sex of your unborn is (ie, "Do you know yet?", "So, do you know what it is?").

"Well my husband and I are both white, so we're anticipating caucasian."
"Human, I assume. At least that's what we're hoping for."
"Yes! I'm 100% sure that I'm pregnant."
"My understanding is that I have a small human growing in my uterus."

"It's a baby."

I still love him.

Dan: You know you can suck the water out of these thinner plastic water bottles like Capri Sun pouches?
Me: Really.
Dan: Yea *sucks water out of water bottle while crushing it in his hand* See?
Me: You're right. That was great.
Dan: I told you!
Me: Indeed. Let's get married tomorrow.

Interesting...

I won a lot of Star Trek action figures on ebay.

They arrived (kind of shittily packed, but whatever. when people sell their kids' old toys they don't really care how they leave the house as long as they do).
My disappointment only lies with a Dax whose ponytail is broken off, a very worn Riker and a Mordock the Benzite without his respiration device. Not too shabby for about $0.50 a piece.

I opened the box to also discover some interesting additions to my "Star Trek" collection.

I did get all the figures promised (as I said, a few a little rougher than "great condition", but again, whatevs) along with some surprises. These surprises included:

-A black ponytail hair piece for a Lego minifigure.
-An 8" Ivan Ooze from Power Rangers
-A Michael Keaton (I say "Michael Keaton" instead of "Batman" because there are no Batman pieces to go with him. It is just Michael Keaton in a black turtleneck body suit)
-A few unnamed accessories that I can't figure out (they might be Star Trek...working on figuring it out)
-An anchor. (Yup. A little metal anchor. How on earth did the seller think an anchor is related to Star Trek?)

The good news is I got some figures I needed (Borg Picard "Locotus" for example) and after some Googling I found that my Ivan Ooze is a little rare so he's worth about $30.

I'd say that this purchase was a success.

I am so EXCITED TODAY

Do you ever know something is coming and just get really excited about it? Like Christmas when you're little? I feel really excited today.

I got a job at the Disney Store in town and my start date is too far away right now. It's about 11 days away and that is TOO FAR. I can't wait to try something new (retail) somewhere that feels familiar (customer service/sales/Disney). It seems so perfect at this point in time.

I've been applying to jobs related to my degree to no avail. So, I figured if I have to have a job unrelated to my major for the time being, why not a new one in something I enjoy?

I'm all bouncy and happy today despite the fact that I have a 7 hour shift at the office today followed a shift at Bob Evans and my slight headache that has been nagging me for days (allergies suck.).

Bob Evans managment was so upset when I said I was getting another job that they've been bending over backwards to get me to stay on at least a few hours a week. So I'm keeping 2 short shifts there a week. Probably giving up most of my office job. I can just fill in shifts there when I feel I need to. And the Disney Store seems pretty okay with all that.

I'm just so anxious to get started! I like changing things up every once in a while.

"Indian in the Cupboard"

I read it and saw the movie as a kid. I forget a lot of the details but I know there was a cupboard that he just happen to find a magic key for and the main point seems to be "don't play god or mess with shit you don't understand" or something. But let me tell you something, if I had been Omri (which is a name never heard in my life before or since), things would have been way different.


These. See why I chose my tiny cars?

 First of all, what kid has western action figures? I had some little cowboy/indian/soldiers I guess, but they were those little monochrome plastic guys that are way less entertaining than Matchbox cars. As a kid I had Power Rangers and Batman and Darkwing Duck (google it) and Ninja Turtles and Disney characters and Barbies from my Happy Meals. Why not bring some of those to life? In the movie he grabs a handfull of his toys and puts them in there and we see a Darth Vader and a dinosaur and then he freaks and un-brings-them-to-life.
What kid decides he does NOT want a miniature dinosaur to train as a pet? No kid. Ever. In the history of kids.
I mean at least TRY. As an adult you're like "Oh, yea. That could be dangerous to have tiny dinosaurs" but as a kid you're like "HELL YES, TINY DINOSAURS!". But I digress.

I have enough Star Trek guys to build my own damn Federation. I have dozens of Star Wars characters. I have an Indiana Jones I found that's older than I am. I have Disney princesses. I have tiny animals. I have Mickey Mouse. And I am (so I'm told) an adult! Omri was just a kid with a cheap older brother who thinks a cupboard he found outside is a good birthday present. You'd think he'd want this more than I do.

If you give me a cupboard with a magic key that will bring my toys to life I am SO gonna have a tiny army of Spocks and Picards and a Mickey Mouse. And then (after I take away their guns) I'll have Han Solos and Stormtroopers and Iron Man. I mean, if I can make them back in to toys whenever they get out of hand, why not? However, my MicroMachine guys would probably escape too easily (can't have a little swarm of Jawas stealing my stuff) so I wouldn't bring those to life. But my Mego Spock? Alive. Jack Sparrow? Alive. That tiny Dracula? Undead. (See what I did there? Ha! But no for real, he might be dangerous.)

Maybe I'll learn some valuable lesson about how I shouldn't mess with powers beyond my understanding.

Or maybe I'll buy a Dumbledore action figure and get him to explain it to me.



Yup. That's what I'd do.



Half funny story.

Around Christmas I found this website that had costume jewelry that was really cute and it was a huge discount for Christmastime. So, I bought my mother a bracelet.

Then I come to learn that she HATES that kind of bracelet. So, naturally, I attempt to cancel the order since it says that it hasn't shipped yet and is "processing". No email response. I call their number, rings and rings and tells me someone will answer shortly for over an hour.

I begin emailing them and posting on their facebook page daily. Nothing. Then, magically, my order changes to "shipped" after a week and arrives like a day later. Sending it back will lose me a percentage of the price and cost me a restocking fee. I ended up keeping it and decided to sell it on ebay or something.

Then I get on their mailing list. So I keep getting emails from them telling me about their sales and what not. I received about 12 of these emails. Eventually I respond with the following email:

"Please stop sending me emails about your sales. I placed an order with you around Christmas and then tried to cancel that order. I called you and emailed you and posted on your company's facebook page repeatedly and noone answered me. I ended up with the item I tried to cancel and never heard anything from you.
You can imagine how it irritates me that you keep emailing me now.

Thank you,
Jen."

Jen has received no further emails. Jen got money back by selling bracelet. Jen wins.

Every day I get up and get ready. I wash and arrange my hair. Put on perfume and a little make up. Put in my contacts and put on clothes I think are flattering. It can take me an hour to get washed and dried and dressed.

Then at the end of the day my make up is faded away. My hair might succumb to the humidity or come out of its pins. Contacts are replaced with glasses. Jeans and shoes give way to a pair of comfy pants and socks.

Like yesterday. It's nearly 11. I'm wearing glasses and sweat pants and a cropped tee. Lying there listening to basketball with no thought given to my hair, which is in disarray on the pillow.

That's when he tells me I'm gorgeous. That my skin is perfect and I'm his dream girl.

Then it's morning. My eyes are puffy and my hair is tangled. I've barely opened my eyes. That's when he tells me I'm beautiful.

FUCK THIS

You're damn straight I won't be the one to mend this feud.
You may think I started it, but I was justified in what I said to him that day. You come to me crying and telling me he's being emotionally abusive and you expect me NOT to say anything when the next day he gives you a fucking flower and everything is peachy? HELL NO
I don't care if he was there for you when things were hard for you. If it weren't for him you wouldn't have been in what you called the most horrific situation of your life to begin with.
You're different since he came around. And yes I blame him.
For months you tell me you two are just friends, "He's even seeing other girls" you say. and he's your friend and I have to be nice. Then suddenly you're in love with him and you want to "Be someone he can be proud to call his"? Fuck that. He isn't good enough for you anyway. Either you've been lying or he has. Either you've been lying to me, yourself and everyone around about what you two are, or he's been lying to YOU about it. If you've been in love with him this whole time, open your eyes and see that for all intents and purposes HE CHEATED ON YOU.
You love him because you think he's gonna grow up and be different? Love him for who he IS and not who you THINK he's gonna be. When did you get so stupid? He isn't going to change, but you already are.
Everyone sees him for what he is except for you. The sooner you see it and move on with your life the better.
I'm not going to be friends with him. I'm not going to accept someone into my life that acts the way he does. And I am certainly not going to be happy for you and this relationship.

Sincerely,
Your pissed off older sister.

So I had an awkward moment...

I was at my boyfriend's cousin's hockey senior night. We were milling around by a trophy case waiting for everyone to assemble so we could roll out to Donato's.
I'm standing there with Casey (the cousin's girlfriend) and we notice someone has stuffed a dollar into the trophy case. We begin discussing how to retrieve it when the younger cousins (twin boys, about 9) come over and join us. We joke about picking the lock and I pull a pen from my purse and say "Alohamora!" (and I executed a perfect "swish and flick", I might add). Casey laughs, but the twins just stare at my smiling face like I'm stupid. Their mother also gives me a strange look.
Later I remember that their dad, Jim, had told me during a conversation we'd had on vacation last year that the twins had not read Harry Potter. In fact, their mother doesn't allow anything Harry Potter in the house. Because the church told her it was evil.
That would explain the looks I got from her and twins at the hockey rink. I can only hope she missed the joke...

I like to spend my time doing things I like to do. If I'm not doing something I like, I'm just counting down the minutes until it's done. And I don't like counting down the minutes of my life.

Shit My Boyfriend Says While I'm Watching Star Trek.

Dan likes to ask me questions during movies. I want to go see the new Underworld, but I won't go see it with him until he watches the other three again so I don't have to explain the previous movies DURING the new one. Dan also has this amazing ability to time a question about a movie we're watching so that if I answer it I will be talking over the EXPLANATION TO IT IN THE MOVIE.

Here are a few of his inquiries and comments while we were watching Star Trek: First Contact last night (which, by the way, he has seen before):

Why are the Borg evil?
Why do they want to assimilate people?
So did they just mess up the timeline?
Is his gun magnetic?
Do humans only come from earth?
So are Orion slave women human?
Have you read Moby Dick?
Are all Klingons black?
Why are their foreheads like that?
Does she like him?
Who's your favorite Star Trek captain?
How did he kill him with that? Aren't they in the Holodeck?
Why is he so upset about that?
Why doesn't he want to be famous and make history?
So who were the first aliens to meet humans?
Were the Vulcans looking for humans?
Was he trying to get the Vulcans to notice him?
How could she be the FIRST Borg?
Why would they have that stuff on the ship if it can kill them?
How does he know she did something to Data? Is his skin tone different?
Data was on the Enterprise the whole time?
Where does all that armor come from? Do they grow it?

ZOMFG

I'm excitable. I admit it. I get on "kicks" of liking stuff or collecting a thing and then move on with my life.

But one thing that I have loved for as long as I can remember is Star Wars. I remember sitting by the big floor fan at gymnastics soley to do my Darth Vader impressions. I will never object to watching Han Solo be awesome. I will never not want see a kickass lightsaber battle. I will never want to get rid of the Star Wars actions figures and stuff I own. I will always make lightsaber noises when I have a pen/wrappingpaper tube/toy lightsaber. I watched the original trilogy last night actually (yes all of it).

I remember as a child the time I stayed up by myself (after my friend and my sister fell asleep) to watch that same trilogy before my mom took us to see Episode 1 the next day. I got the Yoda cup topper from Pizza Hut. I still have it on my book shelf.

I also love the anticipation of an event, Disney and collecting things. So what happens when you tell me that this year Disney will release 2 more sets of Star Wars vinylmations, a thing I already enjoy collecting?

Jen gets freaking excited, that's what happens.



Preview of open editions!



I am so excited to get my hands on these sets that I will tell anyone who will listen.

There will be an open edition set of 6 of Disney characters dressed as Star Wars characters. This set is due in May and I will be getting it somehow.

Then Series 2 of the blind box edition is a set of 12, possibly with variants which seem to be a popular thing. I own Series 1, which is based on Empire Strikes Back. Series 2 is going to be based on A New Hope. Which leads me to believe that there will be ANOTHER series in the future based on Return of the Jedi...and that, too, makes me excited (Admiral Ackbar and Ewoks HOLLA).



                                           

   

Movies in which the main character is green (because I am bored)

The Hulk
Shrek
Muppet Movies
The Mask
The Grinch
The Ninja Turtles
Wicked
Pete's Dragon
Gumby

Character honorable mentions:
Green Lantern
Yoda
Slimer
Mike Wazowski
The green ranger
Green Goblin (and Hobgoblin)
Jiminy Cricket

I went to a baby shower.

I gave it some thought and these are my rules:

1. When I am pregnant, do NOT refer to me as "prego" or "preggers". Calling me either of these is cause for termination of our friendship. Especially "preggers". I will kill you.

Acceptable references include:
-Pregnant
-Having a baby
-Growing a person

2. I will not accept maize and blue clothing. This is also cause for termination of friendship. I will accept Ohio State and Blue Jackets clothing. I will not reject Cavs, Bengals, Browns or Magic, but I prefer OSU.

3. If it is known that I will have a girl, do NOT bombard me with pink things or glittery things. Especially not glitter. Glitter is terrible. It gets everywhere.

4. The father and I get to choose the name. Do not tell us about that kid you knew in high school who was a dick and had that same name. That will not change my mind. It will only annoy me.

5. Do not share your unsolicited stories about how hungry/tired/weepy/in pain/moody/bitchy/irritable/sad/hot/swollen you were when your were pregnant. No pregnant woman wants to hear that from you.

Judging.

I try not to compare myself and judge myself based on how others look. It can be hard to remember to do. Especially with famous people in the news and magazines and on tv. The internet is making it too easy to get into the judgemental mindset. They get caught looking bad in a swimsuit and everyone gets all judgemental. You know what? I want to see the person behind that sneaky camera. Celebrities, for the most part actors and singers, KNOW they will be judged on appearance and take pains to make sure they look good. They have the money for the tailored clothes and the consultants. People get photoshopped. When I go to a party, I've dressed myself and my friends snap pictures with their cameras. When a famous person goes to a party, they often have designer clothes measured to fit them. And the people snapping pictures are professional photographers with expensive cameras. Not to mention they are EXPECTING to be photographed...sometimes my friends sneak up on me or catch me in the background looking goofy. So comparing yourself to someone whose job it is to look good on film or screen is not the best way to do it.
Everyone judges. Everyone makes comparissons and thinks things such as "I wish MY legs looked like that" or "I'm really glad my stomach isn't THAT big".
I try not to, but I'm as guilty of gossip and "bad thoughts" as anyone else. I learned it from people around me and the internet and it's a tough habit to shake. I try to think "Well, maybe she doesn't have the money for healthy food choices and a gym membership. I certainly don't make time to work out. Everyone's body functions in its own way".
I have friends all over this spectrum. I have friends who have overcome weight problems and are healthy and in shape. I have friends who can't gain weight or muscle no matter how hard they try. I have friends who can't LOSE weight. I have friends who have eating disorders that they work everyday to not succumb to. I have friends who run marathons and/or work out daily. I have friends (like me) who generally do nothing special and are ok with how they are.

When I write the following I am going to try to not sound judgemental myself:
What I don't like is when people judge others based on how they look. As I said, I'm guilty too and I try to keep myself from thinking harshly of others. Just please don't sit and complain about how others are.
When you're overweight and you dislike "skinny" people it isn't fair. They might work hard to look that way. Or maybe they wish they had a bigger butt or more muscle. Writing a facebook status about how thinking about going on your beach vacation with skinny relatives makes you want to stay home is hurtful. 
When you're fit and judge people for being overweight, that isn't fair either. They might not have the resources or drive that you have. Maybe they don't even want or need to lose wieght. Tweeting about how some girls look like "busted biscuit cans" in tight pants is mean. Implying that people who don't work out daily or eat fastfood are lazy and unhealthy is rude.
Just think about what you say and how it might come across to others. That's all I have to say about that.

You have 3 freaking years left to get me a hoverboard, toy industry. Get on it.

Musings on my accumulation of things

Everyone collects something at some point in their life. Clothes, tshirts from vacations spots, dolls, thimbles, pins...something.
Over the years collections of mine have come and passed:
- Cat figurines (I was obsessed with getting a cat from ages 4 to 11. But my dad was allergic so my relatives bought me posters and stuffed animals and stuff instead).
- Beanie babies (It was the 90s).
- Dolls.

I don't collect those things anymore, but I still have some of them. A few dolls are still out, but most of them are packed in their boxes in the attic. The beanie babies are in giant ziploc bags up there too. Some of the cats are on my bookcase. I've just outgrown those collections I guess (Not that I'm a grown-up. I don't think I'll ever be entirely a grown-up. Plus I still have way too many toys).

Now it seems I collect:
Books.
Vinylmations (Disney. See previous posts or Google it or something).
Dvds.
Family photos.
Movie action figures (Pirates, Star Wars, and Star Trek mostly).

My mom collects mice. We have mouse figurines of all sizes all over the place. We have music boxes and ornaments. We have Mickey Mouse items for the kitchen and the guest bathroom used to be Mickey themed. I've taken to rotating the collection based on the season. I put the ones making a snowbunny on the sofa table during winter, then in the summer swap it out for the ones in a sand bucket. Fall gets the one in a pumpkin and the one picking apples, and so on.

So I was thinking, when I move out into my own place (if I ever get a freaking job related to my degree), how will I display the oddities I've collected over the years without my place looking like it belongs to Mr. James B.W. Bevis sans the taxidermy?

Luckily, books and movies can be given simple shelves or cabinets or even a little "library" in a study or something. Pretty easy there.

Family photos are also pretty easy I suppose. Frames can be hung on walls or on a mantle or put on end tables (or any spare bit of bookshelf or desk). And photo albums and scrapbooks can fall into the "books" category.

So that leaves my strange and varying collection of collectibles. I guess action figures and Vinylmations can get little display shelves like my mom's mice. The figurines and dolls I've kept can be strategically placed as decor...maybe in a guest room or something. Everyone has knick-knacks (which reminds me of a billboard for a store I once saw called St Nick Knacks...it was a Christmas store! Genius! But I digress) so it wouldn't be weird to have them about. Plus a lot of my little things can be "seasonal" decor depending on what holiday is coming up.

Maybe some of the toys I've saved will stay at my parents' house. Perhaps someday my kids or some nieces and nephews (if my only sister ever changes her mind and decides she would not, in fact, "irreversably screw up a kid") to play with when they visit. I remember playing with my much older cousins Barbies when I visited my aunt and uncle. And playing with my aunt's old toys from the 70s when I went to my mom's parents'. My dad's parents' had a few things like that, but they didn't have any daughters so it was limited (also Grandma gave us things like jars of pennies or buttons to play with. We just sorted or counted them. I'm surprised how long a jar of buttons could entertain us. It's called "imagination", kids. But again, I digress).

I think I like the idea of tasteful wall display cabinets for some of my things. My boyfriend likes and collects Star Wars things also so if I ever live with him there will be no conflict with that. Then I can have spots for my Disney and OSU stuff and HE can have spots for all his Lord of the Rings stuff (God damn, typing that paragraph made me realize how nerdy we are. We belong together. For example, my Star Trek wall clock placement would be up for debate not because he doesn't like Star Trek, but because of the TICKING NOISE it makes).

I always feel like I have too much stuff. So I go through my old clothes and dig through stuff to get rid of the excess. Then I realize, a lot of the excess is because I have stuff that I had for an apartment (at school) that I'm storing. I have extra rugs and lamps and shelves and posters and bedding and curtains. Luckily my sister can use some of that, but we don't always have the same taste so she buys her own stuff too.

My conclusion is that my main problem is not that I'm a mild hoarder, but that I've outgrown having "my room". Kids only need their room. They have their bed, their clothes and their toys. That is all kids have in the world. College age kids and "twenty-somethings" stuck with their parents have furniture and two decades worth of stuff. We've lived away from home and bought stuff for ourselves also. We need our own space.

The point of this whole ramble is that I need to move out. Someone HIRE ME.