I went to a baby shower.

I gave it some thought and these are my rules:

1. When I am pregnant, do NOT refer to me as "prego" or "preggers". Calling me either of these is cause for termination of our friendship. Especially "preggers". I will kill you.

Acceptable references include:
-Pregnant
-Having a baby
-Growing a person

2. I will not accept maize and blue clothing. This is also cause for termination of friendship. I will accept Ohio State and Blue Jackets clothing. I will not reject Cavs, Bengals, Browns or Magic, but I prefer OSU.

3. If it is known that I will have a girl, do NOT bombard me with pink things or glittery things. Especially not glitter. Glitter is terrible. It gets everywhere.

4. The father and I get to choose the name. Do not tell us about that kid you knew in high school who was a dick and had that same name. That will not change my mind. It will only annoy me.

5. Do not share your unsolicited stories about how hungry/tired/weepy/in pain/moody/bitchy/irritable/sad/hot/swollen you were when your were pregnant. No pregnant woman wants to hear that from you.